Sorry it's been a while since my last update!
I will just get straight to the point here though......I love my little girl!! Ugh.....so much!
I have been in heaven finally being home with her and being able to snuggle with her and just spend girl time together. I have missed so much snuggling with a baby.......my baby.
I have been noticing a thing that Kanzis has been doing lately and it happens a lot. We have pictures of Kaizen around our house and when we are sitting on the couch she just stares at his picture. I know she is looking at him because no matter what angle we are sitting with her on the couch her eyes are always fixed on his picture. And when she isn't looking at that one she stares at another picture we have of him in the corner of the room. It brings tears to my eyes as I watch her do it. My heart tells me she knows who he is. She remembers that she was talking with him in heaven before she came.
I wish babies could talk so I could ask her all about him. So I could ask her about her thoughts, her wants, her needs. I would ask her what Heaven is like, what Jesus and Heavenly Father are like. O I would ask so many questions. I guess that is why our Father in Heaven made it so babies can't talk and tell us all the answers to our never ending questions, after all what is the point of a test if you already know all the answers.... We must figure everything out for ourselves in order to pass the ultimate test.
I am so thankful that I can feel Kaizen's love through his baby sister. I know he is watching over and protecting her just like a big brother does. Kanzis is such a joy to us. I look at her and wonder is this really real.....is she really mine? This beautiful baby.....we made her. I get so excited thinking about her growing and developing, but with all that excitement comes sadness knowing that she won't stay a baby forever. That I will only be able to hold her and cuddle her for so long before she grows out of it. I want to be a good mom to her and try to teach her how to be a nice, loving, kind girl. Teach her to grow to become a successful woman, loving wife, and a nurturing mother. I know she will be watching and learning from everything I do and I want to be a good example to her. But more than anything.....I want her to know what real love is.....I want her to really feel it. She is loved by so many people. Josh and I love her so much........ sometimes just thinking of that love brings tears to my eyes (like right now)! She means the world to us and I want her to always know that.
This girl LOVES baths!! She could probably lay in there for hours! Everytime we put her in there she is just so content and satisfied.......makes me happy. :)
I have heard so much about how so many people were asking how we were doing, asking about Kanzis and just thinking and praying for us. We want to thank you all from the bottom of our hearts! It means so much to us that people continue to think of our family. We love you all!
We are now a family of four! And although one of us lives in Heaven......his love lives within our hearts forever.
Have a beautiful weekend!
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