& The greatest of these is love: Our September! Catching up.

Oh October! I just love you. My favorite season has arrived and I am so excited about it! No allergies. No annoying bugs, no sweating from the scorching heat. I could go on and on but I will just leave it as I am happy it is here!

I thought I would go back and tell you about how our month of September went...

To start off the month, my sweet husband came with me to get a pedicure. He doesn't do it often, but when he does he never complains. It's just these little things that make me so thankful he is mine.

I just love him.

My mom and dad wanted to lay some sod in their backyard, so we went over and helped them. And by help, I may have meant that I pretty much watched Josh and my sister help. Lol.

It turned out great!

The next day we went to the Rendezvous in Fort Bridger, Wyoming. It has been a few years since we have been able to go so we really enjoyed it. My mom, dad and little sister came too.

she loved watching the dancers

Another thing I love about Fall is hunting season. I didn't go this year, but I am hoping to next year. I love being in the mountains! But Josh did go and he got us some meat to put in the freezer! He didn't do too bad getting us a wall hanger either...

I also love Fall decor, so I asked Josh to help me build a bench for my front porch, which he did willingly. And I made a bunch of other Fall things too!

We started making this bench, but decided it was going to be too short so he made it for Kanzis...

The 22nd was 3 years since Kaizen went to Heaven,
It was a tough day for me. I hated it. When I think of Kaizen, which I still do everyday, I think of his adorable laugh, his sweet smile and how happy he made me. But on that day, I thought a lot about that day in the hospital three years ago. At 9:36 p.m. when we had to say goodbye. My mind wouldn't stop thinking about how sad I felt. How broken my heart felt. I cried most of the day and was not on my phone at all. I didn't want to talk to anybody. I didn't want to see anyone. I just wanted him. I wanted to hold and kiss him so badly. I prayed that Heavenly Father would kiss him for me, hold him tight. Whisper how much his mommy loves and misses him! I thought of how long three years felt but at the same time, I thought of how it was only three short years ago that I was holding him in my arms. How can three years feel so long yet so short at the same time? I am not sure how, but it did. I miss that little boy with every part of my being.
At times when I am feeding Kamzlin, I see him staring back at me and I have to blink a couple of times. She looks so much like him at times and I am thankful for that.

I sometimes see Kanzis just staring at his pictures and I can feel my heart smile. I can't wait until she can understand me better so she can know more about him and how he made everyone feel. What an angel he is. I can see she loves him. We all do so much.

Two days later was Kanzis' second birthday. I am thankful that her birthday is close after to help lift my spirits a bit. She's two years old! She has the sweetest personality and cares so much about other people. On the 22nd, she saw me crying and came up to me and said "you crying?, oh, it's ok" and gave me a hug. She melts my heart and I am so so very thankful she is mine. I don't even know how I am so lucky to have gotten such a well mannered, well behaved (most of the time) caring little girl, but I am so thankful for her. She loved having everyone over to celebrate with her...