The best is yet to be

Today we had what is called a care confrence, which is when all or most of the doctors involved with Kaizen come together in the same room and talk about his future, his present, and just try to get everyone on the same page with what is going on with him. There was the nerologist, his main doctor, speech therapist, social workers, a couple people from the rainbow kids team, and the rehab doctor that attented the meeting. Josh and I wrote down a ton of questions we had for them hoping to get some answers.

So far they are thinking the "spasms" are not causing his developmental delay and that whatever is going on with him was a gene mutation that happened at the start of his birth process. They still are not thinking it is cerebal palsy and still have no diagnosis and may never have one. They do not have any idea what his future may hold other than they are pretty confident that he will have some learning disabilities, maybe even speech and physical as well.

This meeting was hard for me, I'm not gonna lie. There was a lot of tears involved, some confidence a little shattered. I'm not perfect......I have my faults, I still break down and wonder why this is happening to my sweet sweet boy sometimes. I feel as though at times I have everything put together, with the attitude of "bring it on", "together we can move mountains" but then there are times that I'm not so confident, not so positive, not so sure. I dont necessarily loose hope entirely, even after today I feel as though the final answer, the final outcome has yet to be discovered and that miracles can happen so watch him shine, not to take away from the doctors who have spent lots and lots of time and money studying what they know and are so good at, but I'm a mom, a christian/mormon, a believer, so the best is yet to be. I really want to try and have the outlook on life as I do right now but at times it gets so tough and my faith gets tested and will continue to be I know.

I know he is in good hands both with the doctors here and myself, Josh and our famiies at home......there is no doubt he is a loved little man! We are hoping to be discharged on Friday so we can make it to the yearly Pentz reunion in Idaho that we all look forward to. As of right now we will be taking him home on a feeding tube, oxygen (again ), and an oxygen monitor. Hopefully we can start getting this little guy to gain some pounds.

With so much time at the hospital, we took turns reading the Ensign both finding stories/talks that helped us......even just a little.

I think it's safe to say that to all you wonderful parents out there with beautiful healthy children........never......never take for granted what you have. No matter how mad they make you, how much they drive you nuts.....remember to be thankful for their health. I am not at all saying I am not thankful for KZ because you have no idea how much we are, but every parent wants their children to be healthy. I know that when Kaizen starts reaching his milestones, they won't just be milestones........they will be monumental achievments to us.