Joy.

Have you ever woke up and just been so happy. Happy with your life, madly in love with your spouse, and so very grateful for your children?  I have been feeling this way a lot lately! Don't get me wrong, I love my family every day, and all of the time, but some days are overwhelming with love. Every morning I wake up, I feel so blessed with the life that I have and so thankful for the people who are in it. I love feeling this way.
I will never feel fully happy. I will never have that fullness of joy. Not ever. And that's ok, I have accepted this fact. I have accepted that my fullness of joy has been taken from me for a short time but I will get it back one day thanks to my knowledge of the Plan of Salvation. But for now, I sure get close. These two girls here make every day an adventure, one that I cannot wait to start every . morning. Their personalities crack me up and I love watching them all day.
Kanzis is talking a lot. She uses so many words and sentences, I find myself amazed at just listening to her and seeing her imagination come to life. I know it's silly, how can someone get so fascinated at listening to another person talk? But I do. I love hearing her and it astounds me at how smart she is. She says something to me and I am just like, how did you know that? I love her.
Kamzlin is growing so fast. Too fast. She has been army crawling for awhile now and just the other day she got on all fours and is trying to figure that out. I have been making homemade baby food for her and she loves it. Her favorite foods right now are avocados and bananas. She "talks" a lot too and I love waking up to her sounds. She's adorable and I love her!
And Josh, well, man I love him! He does so much for our family and is such an amazing daddy! Those girls have him wrapped around their fingers and he wouldn't have it any other way. They love him so much and are definitely daddy's girls. Which I love but then I am like, wait, I did all the work, what about me? Lol!

So some things we have been up to...
First off, one of my best friends got married. She is the most talented person I know. There is literally nothing she cannot do. If she wants to do something, she will find a way and get it done! I love that about her. She is amazing and so very beautiful! I am so lucky to know her!

The wedding was absolutely beautiful. I am so happy for her and her cute brand new husband!

We went Christmas shopping the other day. The kids are still young enough that they don't know what is going on so they came with us.

We are the coolest parents! We are so cool that when we go to the toy store, our kid falls asleep. Cool or boring, I'll leave it up to you! Lol!

We bought one of those christmas light projectors for our house this year. Thank goodness for lazy smart people who invent things like this. Kanzis stood in front of it....

We really haven't been up to too much else. Just getting ready for Christmas.

Here are so random pictures to enjoy...

She loves those avocados!

Kanzis got her first haircut...

 Before

 After

 She gets in to everything!

 These two!! <3

 Snuggle time!

They think I'm hilarious...obviously!

Have a wonderful week everyone!

November fun!

After Kaizen's little birthday get together, Josh, Kanzy, and I went for a ride on my dad's new side by side. That little girls LOVES being outside and riding on anything with wheels. She will cry if daddy leaves and doesn't take her with him. I love that she loves it because I love being outdoors even more now that I have kids.

So ever since I have found out that Garth Brooks was touring again, I wanted to go to one of his concerts. At this point, I didn't even care where, I would go. Then I found out he was coming to Salt Lake and I lost it! He is really the only person I have ever wanted to see in concert, I just love who he is and all of his songs! We went to his concert on the 30th and it was AMAZING! I don't care if I ever go to another concert again now that the only one I cared about has been experienced. It was such an awesome night!

It was so cool to be able to see John Stockton come on stage to present Garth Brooks with the award of most tickets sold for an event at that stadium. I loved watching his face and how thankful you could tell he felt that they did that for him. Just another reason to love him!

We had the opportunity to watch my sister's little girl for a couple days. It was so fun to have someone closer to Kanzis' age for her to play with. They had a blast!

I didn't know two girls could make such a mess! Lol. This wasn't even all of it! 

 All three of them sleeping at the same time! It's a miracle! Can you tell which two are mine?

If the red hair doesn't give it away, maybe the thumb suckers will! Oh boy!

We went out and played in the snow. This is the first year Kinley was old enough to actually be able to play in the snow so my sister asked me to video her. She was so cute, she loved it. It was fun to see Kanzis too now that she is even a little bigger.

Having all three kids here, as chaotic as it was at times, I couldn't help thinking about what it would have been like to have Kaizen here. To have all three of my sweet little babies together. I would gladly take all of the chaos to have him here. Gladly. I went shopping the other for winter clothes for the girls and as I was in line to checkout, I glanced over to the boys section, and it hit me, that grief, that infinite sadness overtook me, right there in that line. On the outside, I managed to hold it together. But, on the inside, the tears were flowing and the desire to hold him was overwhelming.  On days like that, I am incredibly grateful for my faith. That he is always near me, even when I feel like he couldn't be further away. I know he is with me, and that he is waiting for me. I am so lucky he is mine. Even though he isn't here with me, I feel so fortunate that he was born to me and Josh. The most heavenly, most pure, most beautiful boy I will ever know in my life...he is mine. 

To end, here are some random pictures...

Her favorite food right now is avocados!

Have a wonderful week!