October Fun

Oh Fall! I just love you! You are my favorite!

I think October is my favorite month of all time! We started the month off by watching Hocus Pocus. I love that movie! We did some preparing for the colder weather to come and we carved pumpkins!

I love having traditions with my little family. It was so fun carving pumpkins just the three of us. We played Halloween music and watched Kanzis get grossed out by the pumpkin "guts" she is silly.

Yes we are listening to kids Halloween music. The adult kind was too scary for me...Kanzis.

Josh carving freehand! He is just using that little picture on the laptop...he's so talented!

The final product! Looks awesome!

So much fun!

We also went to the Zoo! Kanzis' second time. 

She loved this thing!!

I think she enjoyed the animals a lot more this time. :)

Saturday was Kaizen's 3rd Birthday. This years cake theme was Legos. 

I know Kaizen is where he needs to be, but every year on his birthday I imagine his day so different. I imagine him running around playing, opening gifts, blowing out his candles, and devouring his cake. I imagine a happy little boy without a fear in the world. I imagine my angel...here with us.

Every year, our family members get together at his headstone, let go of balloons, that I imagine reaching him in Heaven, we sing Happy Birthday and eat cake. 3 years and I have never been able to sing that entire birthday song, I always choke up in the middle.

Maybe he is the reason I love October so much. After all, it was in October that I became a first time mommy to an angel on Earth.

Later that night was our annual Halloween Party! Two of my awesome aunts hosted it this year! They did such an amazing job! We had so much fun.

 

I am kicking myself for not getting a picture of my parentals! They were pirates, they looked awesome!!

 

Even later that night, a few of us played fugitive. It's where you have to run around town to certain destinations hoping not to get caught by the car who is looking for you. It was so much fun, I felt like a kid again!

Can't wait until next year!

Happy Monday Everyone. :)

Two years for him and her Birthday Party

September 22nd....it was a hard day. 2 years. I wanted to be alone. with my thoughts. I love thinking about him, and I feel like it's important for me to put aside that time to just think...just about him. To cry as hard as I want and not feel like I need to hold it in as to not make anyone else cry...so I wanted to be alone.

I got to think about all of the wonderful days we had together. The beautiful memories of that sweet boy that remain in my heart for always. I was able to remember the constant kisses I would give him everyday all day. I miss them.

With the good memories, came some sad ones. I didn't like remembering those. I would go through that day two years ago in my mind. From the moment we got the call to the moment we had to say goodbye. When I think about Kaizen, I mostly think about everything good. His sweet soul. His perfect little soul. But that day I found myself thinking a lot about how that day went. And it hurt. I miss him so much.

I miss those cheeks. I miss that face. I miss everything about him.

I am so grateful that it isn't goodbye forever. I am thankful for the plan of salvation and I look forward to the day I get to hold and kiss him again.

2 years. But we have grown a lot since then. Because of him. So happy 2 years to him. He gets to be with Jesus, he doesn't have to hurt anymore and for that I am thankful.


We got to celebrate Kanzis' birthday the other day. October 2nd. It was very important for me to throw her a birthday party. I know she won't remember it but I will. I have thought ever since we started having children of their 1st birthday parties. I was so excited for them. I was slowly starting to plan Kaizen's and that day was kind of taken away from me. So yes I wanted to make sure I got to give Kanzis one. I didn't want to miss out again.

Her 1st birthday was September 24th but we waited to celebrate it on the 2nd so Josh could be there too.

Before I share pics of her party, I have to tell you about something that happened the other day...

Have you ever felt so thankful for something, it literally brings tears to your eyes?

The other day I was watching Kanzis play. She and I play a lot together, but this time I sat back and just watched her. I watched her walk, watched her pick up toys and call them "doggie", watched her smile and laugh.  I was overwhelmed with the feeling of thankfulness. Thankfulness for her, and all of her abilities that we take for granted too often. I thought about how hard it was for Kaizen to do things that come so easy to her. And I was so grateful for those abilities. I started to cry and I couldn't stop. She is truly amazing to me. She is so smart and beautiful...I just feel too thankful to write into words.

As I was sitting there watching her, trying to wipe my tears away and stop crying, she walked up to me and gave me a look like what is wrong mommy. She started taking her little finger and trying to catch all of my tears, and then she gave me a hug. So of course I started crying even more. I feel so blessed to have her. She has so much love in her heart for a one year old it truly amazes me. I am so very lucky to be her mommy.

 

Such a fun day. On the dinner menu was:
Pulled pork sandwiches
Chicken noodle soup
Beef enchilada soup
Noodle, Frog eye, and Green salads
Veggie cups
Chips and dip
Fruit skewers
Cupcakes
Cake pops
Cookies
Pink Lemonade 

I wish I would have gotten pictures of all the food but I didn't get the chance, my sister got it on video though. :)

So many people came to celebrate this sweet little girls one year and we are so thankful for all of them. What a special day it was to us.

It was like Christmas in our home when we finally got everything unpacked, and I was just as excited as Kanzis was to play with all her toys and read all her books. She loves books so much I just love it. She will go get a book and bring it to me to read to her. She plops right on my lap and we read away. I hope she always loves books. :)

I love September. Even though we had to temporarily say goodbye to our angel in September, I still love that month. My dad's birthday is the 5th, Kanzis' is the 24th, and fall starts. There are things to still love about that month and I think Kaizen is glad that there is. :)

I hope you all have a wonderful week. <3