Eternal Love

I will update happenings in my life in my next post. This one….this one is about them.

One of my best friends is going through a trial right now that I could only imagine as one of my biggest fears and my heart aches for her.

I thought about updating many times, but every time I went to, my life seemed so unimportant I didn’t even know what to write.

She had to temporarily say goodbye to her amazing husband on November 21^st  as he was called home to our Heavenly Father. He was doing what he loved with some of his family gathering cows, the horse he was riding partially rolled on him and caused brain damage and collapsed lungs. He remained unconscious but fought for his beautiful family for 13 days.

Carissa and Dallin, oh they have so much love for each other!

I met Dallin for the first time at their temple sealing, but I really got to know him when my three best friends and I got together around Christmas time in December 2012. What a wonderful guy. I thought he was the male version of Carissa so it was hard not to love him too.

I would watch them together and I could feel the love they had towards one another and know that they still do. He was so kind and loving to her and I could see that he would do anything for her. Not only did I see the way he looked at her with love, I saw the way she looked at him just the same. Even though I had been married a few years before them, their love inspired me. I look up to their marriage. 

 They are expecting their first child in January. A baby boy. What a wonderful gift to have a baby boy to remind her of Dallin every day. To remind all of us. What a blessing he is.

Carissa’s testimony has strengthened not only my testimony but many many others. I thought about things I could say to her to help, to help strengthen her during these hard days. But all the while, her words were and are strengthening me.

I am so lucky to have her as my best friend, I feel so blessed to be a part of her life and to have been able to know Dallin and love him as much as I love her.

I wanted to share her testimony with you, with the hope that you may find strength through an amazing daughter of God that I get the privilege of calling my friend…

"There is one word I never thought would be used to describe me...widow. I Carissa Hunt am a widow.
This is a very hard word/concept to wrap my mind around. I never knew or could possibly imagine the heaviness this word carries. As I have been placed on this path I have had many ups and many downs. My perfect life as I knew it has been changed forever. Every plan, every idea Dallin and I had now has to be reviewed or changed. However, there is one thing that has not changed and will only change for the better and that my dear friends is my testimony of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. My heart has seen so many miracles and tender mercies from the Lord that have come to pass since this journey began. I have said this many times and with every time I feel it deeper in my soul...My Heavenly Father has carried me and continues to do so. He not only carries me spiritually but, through all of those around me. Whether they know it or not they are instruments in the Lords hands to raise me up. It is hard sometimes to move, to get up and find the gumption to do the laundry but, somehow I do it. My greatest challenge right now is learning to be alone, alone with my own thoughts in my own house and stay strong and centered to what I know.
Beware Satan is very real and if you let him in, even a little he will take over your mind and twist your thoughts. I cannot allow this to happen. Today I was having a hard morning, I wasn't going to attend church. I was convincing myself it would be ok. I had been listening to a recording of Dallin reading 1 Nephi. Ten minutes before sacrament meeting started I was on my feet getting dressed. I didn't second guess my actions I just followed my feet. I walked in and sat on the very back row by myself. I made it. I knew that is where I was meant to be. My Stake Pres. was on the stand and sent a message to his son (I taught him in my Valiant 10 class) to come sit by me. This was a great tender mercy. I needed that boy to sit with me and help me through with his big smile! I have learned and known the things of this gospel my whole life and now more than ever it is in essences time to walk the walk. It's time for me to act on those things I know so deep in my heart. To hold onto the words I get to hear my husband read to me through sacred scriptures. It's time in my life more than ever to hold to the rod."

She is absolutely amazing and so inspiring. I thank the good Lord in Heaven for Eternal Families. I am forever thankful for the knowledge of the Plan of Salvation and that we will see those loved ones we had to say goodbye to much too soon again.

Heavenly Father.....He is good.

October Fun

Oh Fall! I just love you! You are my favorite!

I think October is my favorite month of all time! We started the month off by watching Hocus Pocus. I love that movie! We did some preparing for the colder weather to come and we carved pumpkins!

I love having traditions with my little family. It was so fun carving pumpkins just the three of us. We played Halloween music and watched Kanzis get grossed out by the pumpkin "guts" she is silly.

Yes we are listening to kids Halloween music. The adult kind was too scary for me...Kanzis.

Josh carving freehand! He is just using that little picture on the laptop...he's so talented!

The final product! Looks awesome!

So much fun!

We also went to the Zoo! Kanzis' second time. 

She loved this thing!!

I think she enjoyed the animals a lot more this time. :)

Saturday was Kaizen's 3rd Birthday. This years cake theme was Legos. 

I know Kaizen is where he needs to be, but every year on his birthday I imagine his day so different. I imagine him running around playing, opening gifts, blowing out his candles, and devouring his cake. I imagine a happy little boy without a fear in the world. I imagine my angel...here with us.

Every year, our family members get together at his headstone, let go of balloons, that I imagine reaching him in Heaven, we sing Happy Birthday and eat cake. 3 years and I have never been able to sing that entire birthday song, I always choke up in the middle.

Maybe he is the reason I love October so much. After all, it was in October that I became a first time mommy to an angel on Earth.

Later that night was our annual Halloween Party! Two of my awesome aunts hosted it this year! They did such an amazing job! We had so much fun.

 

I am kicking myself for not getting a picture of my parentals! They were pirates, they looked awesome!!

 

Even later that night, a few of us played fugitive. It's where you have to run around town to certain destinations hoping not to get caught by the car who is looking for you. It was so much fun, I felt like a kid again!

Can't wait until next year!

Happy Monday Everyone. :)

Two years for him and her Birthday Party

September 22nd....it was a hard day. 2 years. I wanted to be alone. with my thoughts. I love thinking about him, and I feel like it's important for me to put aside that time to just think...just about him. To cry as hard as I want and not feel like I need to hold it in as to not make anyone else cry...so I wanted to be alone.

I got to think about all of the wonderful days we had together. The beautiful memories of that sweet boy that remain in my heart for always. I was able to remember the constant kisses I would give him everyday all day. I miss them.

With the good memories, came some sad ones. I didn't like remembering those. I would go through that day two years ago in my mind. From the moment we got the call to the moment we had to say goodbye. When I think about Kaizen, I mostly think about everything good. His sweet soul. His perfect little soul. But that day I found myself thinking a lot about how that day went. And it hurt. I miss him so much.

I miss those cheeks. I miss that face. I miss everything about him.

I am so grateful that it isn't goodbye forever. I am thankful for the plan of salvation and I look forward to the day I get to hold and kiss him again.

2 years. But we have grown a lot since then. Because of him. So happy 2 years to him. He gets to be with Jesus, he doesn't have to hurt anymore and for that I am thankful.


We got to celebrate Kanzis' birthday the other day. October 2nd. It was very important for me to throw her a birthday party. I know she won't remember it but I will. I have thought ever since we started having children of their 1st birthday parties. I was so excited for them. I was slowly starting to plan Kaizen's and that day was kind of taken away from me. So yes I wanted to make sure I got to give Kanzis one. I didn't want to miss out again.

Her 1st birthday was September 24th but we waited to celebrate it on the 2nd so Josh could be there too.

Before I share pics of her party, I have to tell you about something that happened the other day...

Have you ever felt so thankful for something, it literally brings tears to your eyes?

The other day I was watching Kanzis play. She and I play a lot together, but this time I sat back and just watched her. I watched her walk, watched her pick up toys and call them "doggie", watched her smile and laugh.  I was overwhelmed with the feeling of thankfulness. Thankfulness for her, and all of her abilities that we take for granted too often. I thought about how hard it was for Kaizen to do things that come so easy to her. And I was so grateful for those abilities. I started to cry and I couldn't stop. She is truly amazing to me. She is so smart and beautiful...I just feel too thankful to write into words.

As I was sitting there watching her, trying to wipe my tears away and stop crying, she walked up to me and gave me a look like what is wrong mommy. She started taking her little finger and trying to catch all of my tears, and then she gave me a hug. So of course I started crying even more. I feel so blessed to have her. She has so much love in her heart for a one year old it truly amazes me. I am so very lucky to be her mommy.

 

Such a fun day. On the dinner menu was:
Pulled pork sandwiches
Chicken noodle soup
Beef enchilada soup
Noodle, Frog eye, and Green salads
Veggie cups
Chips and dip
Fruit skewers
Cupcakes
Cake pops
Cookies
Pink Lemonade 

I wish I would have gotten pictures of all the food but I didn't get the chance, my sister got it on video though. :)

So many people came to celebrate this sweet little girls one year and we are so thankful for all of them. What a special day it was to us.

It was like Christmas in our home when we finally got everything unpacked, and I was just as excited as Kanzis was to play with all her toys and read all her books. She loves books so much I just love it. She will go get a book and bring it to me to read to her. She plops right on my lap and we read away. I hope she always loves books. :)

I love September. Even though we had to temporarily say goodbye to our angel in September, I still love that month. My dad's birthday is the 5th, Kanzis' is the 24th, and fall starts. There are things to still love about that month and I think Kaizen is glad that there is. :)

I hope you all have a wonderful week. <3