A little piece of Heaven....

Hey Everybody!
 I had to write today and share with you an experience...

The days are still so hard being here without our little boy. Some days I feel like life really can't get worse than this. But The Lord......he knows. He knows that we are going to struggle for a while.....he knows exactly and more of how we are feeling right now.

I have been praying to our Heavenly Father that he will help us through this. He already is helping tremendously but there are still some days I just feel like I need a deeper answer. I have asked that he will help me understand more whether it be in a dream or something.......anything.....

I have a had a few dreams of Kaizen. Dreams that he is lost or he dissapears out of nowhere. In my dreams, when I finally find and get to him he is covered up, with either a blanket or something and when I uncover him, he is smiling and so happy. He starts playing and walking around.

Josh and I both had very strong feelings that in these dreams, the blanket represents the veil and him dissappearing is when he left this world to be with Heavenly Father and Jesus. When I remove the blanket (veil) I see him happy and doing all the things little boys should do. Kaizen is on the other side of the veil playing, laughing, and so happy!

I want you all to know that Heavenly Father does listen, he knows your struggles, he knows your fears. He knows all and if you ask of Him....He will help you! I am so thankful for my relationship with our Father in Heaven and I know he is taking really good care of that special little angel that I am so much looking forward to seeing again.

I love that the Lord has blessed me to be able to have dreams of little Kaizen and that many nights I get to escape out of this world and see my angel, watch him play and laugh. I get to be with him and I love it.

I want to wish you all a very Happy upcoming Thanksgiving! Be sure to count your blessings. No matter what trials you are going through, there is ALWAYS something to be thankful for.

We had a Birthday & a Halloween Party

October 25th was our little angel's 1 year old birthday! He spent his birthday the best way anyone could ever spend their once a year special day......with our very loving Heavenly Father. Lucky boy. And while he was in heaven celebrating with all that have gone before us......we were a little sad here on Earth. Happy that he turned one......but sad because we weren't together to celebrate it. We just miss him so much. So much.

We are getting through it though.....We just want you to know that. Even though smiles creep on our faces, laughter escapes our lips, and our lives we keep living........we think about KZ all through the day. Everyday. And to be quite honest.....I hope that never changes. I am so so so very greatful for the fact that we will see him again. I keep thinking about that glorious day.....how happy we will be......how we will just be able to pick up where we left off. Very exciting.

So until then.....we are going to laugh, smile, play.......we are going to live. For him.

We love that sweet little boy more than the word love could ever begin to describe.

The day after our babies birthday.......we through a Halloween party.

So if you don't know this about me by now, I'm gonna let ya know........ I absolutely, positively LOVE Halloween. Don't ask me why because I have no answer except because I do. I just love it!

So Kristina, Kass, and I had been preparing for this party for a couple weeks and I was so excited! We had it at Kassidy and Jake's house and it turned out awesome. Pretty much everyone dressed up, we played games, had awesome food, and I am already ready for next Halloween to throw another one!!

The frightening food

Grilled cheese and blood soup

Cupcakes and dirty Q-tips (marshmallows dipped in butterscotch chips)

Day old bath water (ice cream sherbet, 7up, frozen lemonade,

 limeade,&pink lemonade)

Used bandaids (graham crackers, frosting, with red edible paint)

Deviled eyes

Witches brew (apple cider)

Graveyard cups and candy corn cups (pudding and cheesecake cups)

Fear Factor game.....scary

Kristina the clown! haha

Couples costume contest winners! Pebbles and bam bam

he only had the wig on for this picture....his blonde hair was perfect!

I didn't have a picture of the two of us together but Josh was the

tooth fairy.....yes that is hair on his chest.....fake of course.....and also yes

he is wearing tights! haha and I was the dentist.

Treat your teeth carefully, you don't want the dentist to have to

remove one....I don't think you would

want this guy in your room in the middle of the night to come and get it! lol

I just love him. He does it for me.

So cute Jami and Cody were the criminals

 and Greyson was the Cop!

Wish I had a better picture...

cleaning up after the mummy contest

Kassidy and Jake were Snow White and the Huntsman.

Such a cute little Snow White!

Pin the wart on the witch

We had a great time!

And now we are back in Montana. Before we left I got the chance to catch up with an old friend.

Carissa, I love you so much! I love how we can go months without talking and then when we get together it's like we have never left each other's side. I love how I can tell you anything.....anything at all, I can open my heart to you and know that you will listen to me no matter how stupid I sound. Thank you for that! Along with Brittnee and Katie......I miss you guys!

And I can't forget about my dear Vanessa! She has written me a text message nearly everyday with the simple words...."I love you" and I don't think she knows how much that means to me......It's funny because it seems like everytime I recieve that text, it's when I really need it. Thanks Ness! I love you!

I still feel so very grateful for all of you that have been keeping our family in your thoughts and prayers. I am so thankful for each of you. Your prayers have definitely helped us. Thank you.

The first day of November.....wow, I can't believe this year is almost over.

For the start of November......I am thankful for the amazing privilege I had to raise an angel for 11 months. I just cannot think of anything I am more thankful for than that right there. Wow.......an angel, in my home, in my life, in our lives......for 11 months. It just doesn't get better than that!

May we all count our blessings.....

"Tomorrow is NEVER promised."

That quote means more to me now than it has ever before.