Love

Sunday, September 22, 2013

One year...

Well guys......I am sorry I haven't done a blog post for a while. I just don't want to bore you with ummm.....absolutely no news! Lol We have seriously been playing what feels like the longest waiting game in the history of ever! Ok maybe a little dramatic but seriously the baby seems to be perfectly fine where it is. I feel like this pregnancy has gone by super fast up until these last couple weeks which I know is pretty common. Talking with my doctor at my last doctors visit we were discussing when to schedule an induction day, she thought we should schedule it for today but I told her my concerns as to waiting that long and we agreed on last Tuesday.....well as you can see...we changed our minds. Josh and I prayed and asked Heavenly Father what to do and I just kept getting a feeling to wait and give my body some more time so I called the doc and we scheduled the induction day for tonight. They typically don't like a mother trying a VBAC to go past 41 weeks. I will be 41 weeks tomorrow. So we are going in tonight and they will soften my cervix and then start all the big stuff tomorrow. I sure am nervous but I can't help but feeling a little excitement. I was really hoping to go into labor on my own, but I am just trying not to stress and go with the flow. Hopefully we will be holding another sweet little soul tomorrow.

Speaking of another sweet soul. My Kaizen. My sweet sweet Kaizen. It has been a year today since the day he left to live with our loving Heavenly Father. One year. I'm not really sure how I feel about this last year. I can't really say if it has even felt like a year. All I know, is I miss that little angel I am so proud to call mine. Everyday I miss him. Everyday I think of him. And not just today......but everyday....I think of how much my life has changed since he left and how much happier I was when I was able to hold him and love on him everyday. Even though my life.....our lives....have changed in a way that I NEVER wanted it to, I know that he and Heavenly Father have helped us and allowed us to feel happy, to laugh, and keep living knowing that we WILL see him again. This is truly not the end. I feel Kaizen's love all around me and I know he is so excited for us to meet his sweet little baby brother or sister. I thought I would just post some pictures of baby Kaizen to remind us all of his angelic beauty.

 So here they are......some you have probably seen before........here is the greatest love I have ever felt......
























My baby.......he's walking with Jesus. He's safe in the most tender of hands.