Love

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Half Birthday!

Kaizen is six months old today!! Ahhh! My goodness where has the time gone?? It's crazy.

Kaizen,
Before you were concieved, we wanted you
Before you were born, we loved you
Before you were here an hour, we would die for you
The miracle of love is very, very powerful!

We decided to take advantage of this beautiful day and go on a walk!
He loves walks........being able to see the beautiful world around him.......take in the air, the sounds, the smells! I love watching him watch the world!




We decided to take Buckley with us.......he also loves his walks!

Might as well get the mail while we are out and about.




For dinner I made Cheddar Chicken Pasta! I changed the recipe a little........I used Rotini noodles and cheddar and parmesan cheese and it was still........divine!



Next to Eternal Life, the most precious gift that our Father in Heaven
can bestow upon man is his children. David O. McKay

O that nose.......I just love it!

Playin in his jumper the other day.



And in other news.........I had my hair dyed by Tina Turner!!
Lol not the real one but she is pretty awesome! She always does a wonderful job!



I hope everyone had a wonderful day!

Thought for the day:

You have to take the good with the bad, smile when you're sad,
love what you've got and remember what you had....
Always forgive but never forget, learn from your mistakes but never regret,
people change, things go wrong, just remember.......
Life Goes On.


Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Good News!

To start off.....there were a few things I left out last post........


Kaizen got his very first Build-A-Bear!! Mommy picked out the bear, daddy picked out the clothes, and baby watched and smiled. Josh and I both got to make a wish on the little hearts and put it in the bear. When you squeeze his arm he giggles and when you squeeze his chest you can feel a little heart beat. I think Kaizen will like him.

Meet Winston.......


 
 


And.......on Saturday before we drove home, we stopped at Costco for a few things and we ended up playing tetris when we got to the car. I love love love my car but when you have a lot of big stuff.......it gets kind of tight.

Josh trying to win the game

Success!!

Now for the good news!!

We got the results of Kaizen's MRI and EEG!
The EEG came back again with no siezure activity, but like the other EEG's we have gotten, it was slightly abnormal. The front left side of his brain had slow movements at times, but this isn't anything they are really worried about.
 The MRI came back perfectly normal. No abnormalities in his brain and he is right on track with his age group. As for the little spasms/jolts that he has occasionally, the doctor says they should stop by the time he is 12 to 18 months old or sooner. As for his stiffness we will continue to take him to our wonderful Physical Therapist and we will keep stretching and massaging when at home.
I loved hearing this news. It definitely made my day.
Right now he is a happy healthy baby boy filled with tons of laughs, love and purity! He is getting so strong and courageous and I am loving every bit of it.
He has taught and is teaching me so much..........to be patient, to be kind, to be happy. His angelic personality magnetizes me and I am hooked to him. I love and value every second I have with him, I love watching him, teaching him. I can't imagine my life before him.........I don't want to..........I don't need to........because life without him........simply makes no sense!

Saturday, April 14, 2012

A not so fun mini getaway

Wow! That was rough!! We just got home from a three night four day "getaway". I wish it would have been a nice relaxing getaway spent on the beach or somewhere peaceful but I guess a hospital will have to work for now.

We left Sidney Wednesday night and made the four hour drive to Billings so we could be there for Kaizen's EEG appointment early Thursday morning. We were instructed to keep Kaizen awake from 2:00am to 8:00am. His appointment was at 8:00a.m. and they wanted him to be very tired so the test could pick up anything abnormal.

 Let me just tell you, trying to keep a baby who normally goes to bed at 9:00 or 10:00 every night and wakes up at about 7:30-8:00 every morning, trying to keep him awake is almost impossible! I got up at about 2:30..........hey the snooze button was calling my name........... and fed and changed him, then the long process of trying to keep him awake begun. He was soooo tired........

Josh woke up at about 5:00 to "relieve" me but I just couldn't sleep so we both stayed up and tried everything we could to keep this cute little baby awake.
We tried taking him outside, wrapped in a blanket, so the air would wake him up a bit. We tried talking to him, making funny loud noises, giving him a bath, putting him in his johnny jumper, literally anything and everything.......but..........he refused to stay awake!












So we ended up letting him sleep for 22 minutes to be exact, that little nap gave him some energy.....a baby power nap we called it.



Finally 8:00a.m. arrived and he could finally get some rest.....


He fell right asleep!


Please know and understand that this test does not hurt him in any way! Basically there are a whole bunch of wires that they attach with some sticky gel and then tape over them so they don't come off, everything comes off really easy with the help of a little alcohol pad so it doesn't pull on his tiny little hairs.



They then wrap this gauze around his head so in case he does wake up and move around, the wires don't come off.

The pictures make the test look worse than it really is. This is his fourth EEG, and let me tell you, when they gave him his first one when we were in Great Falls I cried when I saw him like this, I absoulutely hated it!! I am hoping this will be the last one. So far every test has come back with no siezure activity and we haven't got the results for this one yet so we will see.


The test was finished after one hour and they came and took everything off and we were headed back to the hotel for another feeding and some rest for all three of us!

But after our nap we decided to hit the mall for some shopping!


This is my new favorite store!! They have so many cute clothes!

At Dillards trying on some hats! He's so cute.




This store called Country Cottage looked like they had so much fun stuff. I didn't go in, but it sure did look inviting. Next time, my friend, next time.



Then we went to Red Lobster.....yumm!!

He really was happy.....I dont know what he is trying to prove hahaha!

One of the outfits I got.
Flower top: Romy
Little jacket thing: Vanity
Capris: Vanity
Shoes (you cant see): JC Penney

Sneeking a picture lol!
I was camera happy......it was becoming a problem.



 Friday was a new day.......and not an exciting one! It was his MRI. For this we were instructed to not feed him anything after midnight, so I gave him his last bottle for the night at 11:00 p.m.. After we checked in at 7:30 a.m. and after waiting for a little while, we were called back to get Kaizen ready.

The anesthesiologist came in and talked to us about the plan. That he would be sedated of course, have a breathing tube put down his throat, and have to have an IV. Then we headed back to where he would be sedated. I hated the fact that he had to be sedated......I loathed it!! I went in the room with him and they put the mask over his mouth. He didn't like that mask....not at all. I was holding his hand and could see and feel him start to get tired. My eyes filled with uncontrollable tears.........I couldn't handle it! They told us we could leave, and I was thankful for that. I don't think I could have handled watching him be fully "put to sleep".

They told us the MRI would be about 45 minutes and then he would need to be in the recovery room for probably 30 minutes. Josh and I sat in the waiting room........him on his phone, me on my ipad trying not to think about what was going on just a short way away from us. An hour went by, then an hour and a half, by now I was starting to get worried. Almost two hours later, the nurse came running out waving her hand for us to come, my heart sunk. Then when I got closer to her, she smiled and I felt a little better.

When we saw Kaizen he was crying so hard. This is very abnormal for him as he hardly cries........ever! He was not happy with what just happened. I took my precious crying angel in my hands and held him close to my heart.........it took him a little bit but he finally calmed down and stopped crying.

The anesthesiologist told us that there was an episode when he was in the MRI. With 9 minutes remaining in the scan Kaizen was trying to breath on his own......fighting against the breathing tube. They had to pull him out and hand ventalize him so his heart rate would come back up. Within 20 seconds it did and he was fine. They finished the scan.

We were in recovery for about two hours because they were concerned with a few things. His face was really really red. His pupils were dialated to huge and were not reacting to light that well and his hands were shaking. He had a little bit of a fever but not high enough to explain why his face was so red. He would not eat anything and would keep choking when we did try to feed him.

I did not like seeing my baby like this! Not at all!




Daddy's turn to feed. He had the magic touch!


Thankfully though with time he started going back to normal. He started eating and not choking. His redness started going down and his hands stopped shaking so much. Finally his pupils started reacting to light. They said that the reason his eyes might have dialated was becuase of the medicine they put in his IV when he had the episode in the MRI to help get his heart rate up.

They finally discharged us and we were headed back to the hotel. He still wasn't back to his normal self but they said that was normal after sedation.

This morning Kaizen was back to his happy normal self. Smiling and laughing at his crazy mommy and daddy! Not shaking anymore and not choking! I don't think we will be having another MRI for a long time, I really didn't want it done this time but the doctor wanted to check on some things.

We haven't got the results for the MRI yet either, but we should know more next week! I will keep things updated!


Friday, April 6, 2012

Blessings

My goodness its been a while since I have updated the blog! How dare me! No there are not any excuses......I was very capable of doing it.....I just found myself thinking, "O I will do it later"......well that turned into way later!! My apologies! I need to be better about updating........I will be better!

Alot has happened since my last post.......but the most exciting thing was welcoming a brand new baby into the Bolinder family!

Introducing.....TeeLie Steven Bolinder.....




This precious little angel weighed in at a whopping 8lb. 3oz. and was 20 in. long! He is sooo cute! Congratulations to Shane and Abbie!! Him and Kaizen are going to be the best of friends......I just know it!

As for Kaizen...........
                   well........



.......He's doing pretty darn good!

We have an appointment for an EEG next Thursday and an MRI on Friday. You see when we left the Hospital in Great Falls, they told us that the tiny bit of blood in his brain was MOSTLY absorbed so the neurologist just wants to make sure that it all has in fact absorbed. And for the EEG......the neurologist just wants to make sure he isn't having any seizures because every once in a while Kaizen has these little jolt/spasm things. We are hoping to get a lot of questions answered.

He is doing great though.....he is on his tummy a lot and he is really holding his head up good now! He isn't sitting up by himself yet or really rolling over that much but we know that will come with time. Right now he is just laughing at anything and everything..........and that alone makes us happy!
He is developing great and it is so exciting for me to be able to witness all of the marvelous milestones he is achieving!

On his 5 month birthday a little over a week ago, we tried putting him in his crib in his room for the first time, HE did great............but as for me.........well I didn't do so great! I got up to check on him a few times and then I had the monitor right next to my ear...............I could hear his every breath!
When he woke me up with his lip smacking around 7:30 the next morning (I know........I have it rough) he was so happy to see my face peek up from the crib........that smile melted my heart! The next night I thought we would try it again and maybe I will get better with time! Well the next night was even worse for me.......why?........I really don't know but I got up even more times to check on him and I hardly got any sleep that night! Once again he slept perfectly fine and again my heart was melted by that smile the next morning!

I decided I am going to let him continue to sleep in the bassinet in our room, right next to my side of the bed.....he still fits in it so why not! But unfortunately......he won't be able to be in it for too much longer.......he is just about too long for it :(  Let's just say we may be moving the crib into our room for a while!

I just have to mention this thing that happened to me the other day.......
     Let's just say I was having a bad morning........Kaizen woke up earlier than usual and dumb me didn't go to bed until about 1:00a.m.! I was very very tired.....but I needed to fullfill my duties as a mother and feed this precious little baby looking at me with hungry eyes! When he was done eating we both went back to bed.......when we woke up a few hours later my husband could see I was tired......when I told him I woke up sooo early he put things in a different perspective.......he told me one day Kaizen will be able to hold his bottle all by himself......that he wouldn't need me for that anymore, and that I should enjoy this time I am able to feed him while I still can. This is so true! One day he won't need me and he will be this little tiny being with his own agenda! Thank goodness for my husband and knowing the right things to say to make me feel so very greatful for the gift of motherhood! It reminds me of the song by Darius Rucker, "It won't be like this for long" If you haven't heard this song......I suggest you do so!



Gettin ready to go for a walk!

Bringing daddy some lunch......he was working hard!

I made this for Abbie to celebrate the little cutie!

just hangin out!

Cheesy chicken, bacon, avacodo quesadillas! Soooo good.


collage I made!


 Another wonderful thing that happened was the 182nd LDS General Conference!


I love watching General Conference! I was especially prompted by the Holy Ghost to make sure.....no matter what to watch it this year! I just felt like something was going to be directed towards me somehow......and I am so so very glad I watched and listened! Our great Heavenly Father sure knows what he is doing!

All of the speakers were truly wonderful but I would have to say that the one I loved.......the one I felt was directed towards me.......for me because God knew I needed it........was the talk (please read) by Elder Ronald A. Rasband of the seventy. This helped me in so many ways......"Though we will face trials, adversities, disabilities, heartaches, and all manner of afflictions, our caring, loving Savior will always be there for us. He has promised: “I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you. …
“My peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”"
Tears fell......quite a bit actually......but yet I was so happy! I am so thankful for the closeness I have with my Heavenly Father and the Holy Ghost that he would bless me with all that he has.


And lastly.........yay for Easter! Yay for celebrating our kind and gracious savior. I am so thankful for his birth and for his atoning sacrafice for me and each and every one of us!

Happy Easter!
       From: The Bolinders